Nov 4, 2023
Each narcissist is unique in his or her inimitable way. We learn a great deal about a person by the way he/she communicates.
With Narcissists there are several styles that stand out. The first is the Screamer. This man or woman always has the volume dial turned up to the max, especially when under stress or frustration which is frequent. There is no modulation in sound intensity whether the narcissist is in public or private.
Screaming is the most direct route to getting his or her needs and desires met immediately. Although many narcissists are obsessed about their image and would not make a public scene, the Screamer projects his feelings, threats and intimidations without a filter. If he doesn't get the right table at a restaurant, best theater seat, quickest appointment, he/she screams---wild eyed, face flushed, mouth gaping. He attracts a lot of attention as he communicates: "I want what I want when I want it." Surprisingly, those involved in the ugly interchangge with narcissistic screamers, respond to their requests readily to restore peace and civility.
Narcissistic Screamers do not apologize nor are they embarrassed by their inappropriate behaviors. For them, it is only what they want and are getting all that matters. After all, they deserve it; they are superior and entitled. The sheer volume and intimidation projected by the enraged narcissist is enough to make most people cringe and go to their protective corners and acquiesce to the narcissist's delusional demands.
The Passive Aggressive narcissistic communication style is notable for its seesaw quality. These narcissists are sullen and can go for weeks without speaking a word if they have been crossed or confronted. They are masters of the "silent treatment." This type of narcissist is gifted at "quietly seething." Everyone in the household is unnerved and disrupted by this behavior but it is difficult to confront and deal with since the narcissist has become and will remain mute until he decides to end his strike. These narcisssists often play the victim role, insisting that no one appreciates or understands their problems.
Covert Operators lead secret lives, cleverly compartmentalizing one from the others. (From Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life) "The narcissist puts his life in neat compartments that are sealed off from one another. He (or she) is able to activate self-identifications of vitality, superiority, success and power. These are kept separate from the unconscious parts of himself that feel depressed, enraged, empty and helpless..."
Your keen powers of observation and discernment reveal the true nature of the narcissist including their communication styles.
You are moving forward, rediscovering your truth, authentic self. Take time for deserved self care each day: get the rest and sleep that you need and deserve, nourishing healthy food, good hydration, movement and exercise thats best for you, restorative beautiful music, exploring your unique creative gifts.
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