May 17, 2021
Narcissists are constantly projecting their unconscious psychological venom on to others, especially spouses, children and other family members. Inside the privacy of the home, those who revere the image that the narcissist presents in the outside world have no inkling just how ugly the narcissist's personality can be. For those he/she is impressing to obtain narcissistic supplies, this person becomes a source of adulation and veneration.
For those who live with him behind closed doors, the narcissist is a living nightmare. He is constantly demanding, spoiled, insisting on perfection from others. When narcissists don't get from you what they say they want, they are inclined to scream like two year olds with greatly enhanced volume. When you do something perfectly he finds a flaw and starts picking away at you. They are relentless insisting that they are right, you are wrong and that there is something psychologically and mentally askew with you. The reverse is true--this individual has a severe personality disorder that is not going to change.
For many spouses it is necessary to sever the relationship because of its toxicity to them. Learning how to detach and build a stronger solid sense of self and your own entitlement are keys to dealing with the narcissistic personality and moving forward as a unique, grounded individual.