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The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Oct 26, 2021

There are exasperating choices some women have to make. Stay married to a spouse who is psychologically fused with his narcissistic mother or make the decision to sever the marriage because you can no longer tolerate the severe narcissistic abuse projected on to you.

This woman is not going to change. She is the vaunted matriarch of the family. She runs everyone: her husband, children, other family members. Her son (your spouse) loves and hates his mother but he is psychologically locked in to her. He has never been able to separate himself from her clutches. Soon his narcissistic mother revealed herself in full ugly vengefulness.

She gossiped about you to all the relatives, made up secrets about you and your family, telling all who would listen that you came from people who were dishonest and low class. This vicious gossip and flat out lives was very convincing to her coterie of family followers. They believed her. What a great actress!

You are in a miserable impossible situation. It is up to you to decide if you will remain in this very difficult role of villainess.

There are many stories of women subjected to this level of narcissistic abuse that recognize that their spouses are so fused with their mothers that this Gordian knot cannot be untied. It is a time of reckoning for you. Many women have taken the difficult tough pathway to their freedom from the narcissistic mother-in-law and found a renewal of their individuality, a new beginning. You grow in creativity, inner peace and the pursuit of your many gifts. You deserve tremendous credit for these extraordinary achievements.