Dec 14, 2021
High level narcissists are obsessed and preoccupied with the impressions they are making. Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life gives you a keen sense of this obsession:
"The narcissist is always preoccupied with the impression he/she is making. For some, everything in their environment---homes, cars, personal possessions---must reflect a flawless self. Walking through some of these homes, I have wondered if anyone lives there. There is not one sign of human habitation, no footprints on rugs or carpets, no finger marks on furniture, mirrors, no cooking aromas or whiffs of faded perfume, no towel askew, no stain, no dust, no scuff, no smudge---Every aspect of their outward environments must be kept in pristine condition at all times..."
If you are partnered with or married to a high level narcissist or grew up with a narcissistic parent, this description and portrayal is very familiar to you.
You have spent years and decades in extreme chronic stress, anxiety and depression, somatic disorders, unrelenting insomnia. You cannot tolerate it any longer---your research, insights and intuitions about the high level narcissist are well grounded and very clear. You choose to leave this empty vapid, externally oriented lifestyle with an individual who treats you with disrespect, disdain, accompanied by bursts of vile, projected venom that causes your anxiety , self doubt, and unfettered rage directed at you are particularly terrifying if you experienced childhood trauma.
You are moving forward leaving your false relationship with the high level narcissist behind. Your pathway forward leads to recovery, transformation and evolution of the true self.
You simplify your days, following your deep intuitions and daily self care.