Aug 28, 2020
Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life:
"Life with a narcissist is neither simple nor straightforward. It is a complex production that requires the right settings, plots and actors. The narcissist is encircled by a theatrical cast of supporting actors, bit players and extras. ..Good supporting actors are invaluable. Playing their parts skillfully, they intensify the drama, drawing attention to the star. The supporting actors in "the big picture show"---spouses, mistresses, business associates, amplify the leading man's woman's performance. A good bit player is versatile and flexible, available to the start performer at all times...Extras on movie sets are expendable, one is interchangeable with another. ... Extras are often called the atmosphere. Extras move in and out of the narcissist's world as needed or by whim...Some extras are so enamored of the narcissist that they are willing to act in any number of roles. They will fetch and carry, have a one night stand, endure emotional abuse, do anything to remain part of the golden circle."
This is the full false self of the high level narcissist. fooling everyone with his enticements, deceits and empty promises. This is the grand performance, opening night but behind the curtain and closed doors the impossible, ugly, vile real self of the high level narcissist is activated in raw projections, obsessive control maneuvers deceits, lies and humiliations. You are exposed to this dark cruelty repeatedly and pay the price of partnership or marriage to the high level narcissist.
Your energies fade, motivation droops; you are exhausted; you have chronic insomnia. The high level has eroded your confidence and creativity. There is a time of awakening to true nature of the high level narcissist. The act and entourage have worn thin. You can no longer share this tawdry delusion with the high level narcissist.
You have decided to move forward as an individual on your own pathway.
Practice self care: get the sleep and rest that you need and deserve, eat nourishing food, hydrate, move/exercise your way, spend time with Nature, awaken your creativity.