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The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

May 20, 2023

The high level narcissist is a projection machine. Rather than internalizing, introspecting or encouraging insight, the high level narcissist is always in the process of externalization. He/she is either basking in his perfection or plotting the next move that will weaken, topple or destroy a real or imagined enemy. 

Projection is an unconscious defense mechanism an individual uses to protect himself/herself from intolerable feelings of worthlessness, self loathing and forbidden impulses. The high level narcissist is continually projecting his/her venom on to others. This is particularly painful and harmful to his family---spouses, partners and children.

Learn to deflect the high level narcissist's projections. This person is constantly externalizing, reeling out one trajectory after another. You cannot control the narcissist's impulses but you can be in command of yourelf. A daily practice of stilling the mind and gentle forms of yoga that emphasize focus on the breath provide a steady mental and psychological foundation. These practices are thousands of years old and have served yogis and laymen in a profound way. Learn to access the parasympathetic nervous system. that part of yourself that is calm, relaxed, at peace. A master acupuncturist whom I know reminds her patients: "let yourself go down and settle." She is speaking about the innate part of ourselves that naturally seeks peace in the body, mind and psyche. 

Get the rest and sleep that you deserve. Practice diaphragmatic breathing that puts you in the parasympathetic mode of calming and restoration. 

Minimize contact with high level narcissists. This is a tall order since many people in positions of power and influence are narcissistic personalities. If you have to be in their presence, try to be in the company of someone else whom you trust. Being alone is the best opportunity for the high level narcissist to pounce. When the projection comes, remind yourself that this shred of debris is emerging out of him/her. It does not belong to you. Beneath it all, the narcissist is a coward---hitting others when they are down, feeding off of vulnerabilities and weaknesses, setting baits and traps that will harm and disrupt other individuals. These people are despicable. 

With today's narcissistic society giving them a pass, because so many of them are successful in the world, look to yourself. 

You are not alone, I hear from those who have been victimized by these predators and have prevailed over them. 

The wise philosopher Lao-tsu states the truth clearly: "He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still." 

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