May 16, 2022
Married to a high level aggressive narcissist you are under constant unrelenting stress that activates your sympathetic fight or flight nervous system. Oxidative stress affecs the sytems of the body/mind, causing extreme exhaustion, gut dysbiosis, chronic insomnia, unrelenting anxiety, chronic insomnia and bouts of depression.
The high level narcissist in the beginning is an irresistible human being. Filled with incandescent charm, often very bright, bounding self confidence, often physically attracive with a compelling personal story, high ambitions and limitless optimism, you are quickly drawn. You become fascinated, even entranced.
The clever high level kows how to read people. He/she knows your vulneratilities, deepest wishes and needs. He is aware of your temptations, passions, fears, wishes, secrets.
As the monthsn and years move forward you become very aware of the dark side of the ihigh level narcissist. You are on the receiving end of the narcissist's bombarding projections that are designed to strike fear and humiliation inside.
Some partnrs of high level narcissits experience a level of extreme exhaustion that is so painful that it interrupts daily activities. You have no energy rreserve; there is no comfrot or respite. Your gut aches much of the time. You dread the nights of insomnia. You drag yourself around, pretending to your partner or spouse that everything is just fine.
There is a part of you that knows tht this non relationship with the high level narcissist is inauthentic, a role imposed upon you to deliver the essential narcissistic supplies - control, adulation, praise, upon the high level. After all, you burnish his image. In some instances he or she looks even better since exploiting your creative gifts to his advantage.
There is a time of awakening whom you will not and cannot accept your role of servant to the egotistic demands and manipulations of this deluded and abusive individual.
With your research, insights andintuitions you make the decision to separate from this disunion. Now you follow the pathways of the true authentic self.
Self care and restorationa re your guides rest and sleep, if you have trouble sleeping, be kind with yourself as you rest; norishing food, organic if possible, good hydration with pure water, movement and exercise that works for you---exercise reduces inflammation and reduces chronic stress, increases physical and psychological stmina, listen to beautiful music that activates the parasympathetic body/mind systems----calming the nervous system, giving you psychological and physical respite, spontaneous writing--letting out withoug editing the flow of feelings, images, past experiences whatever comes through in the writing at this moment on to the page, some formof meditation---this cn be Nature in its invariable forms of beauty---in Nature we ar experiencing an in the moment mindfulness.
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