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The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Oct 31, 2019

The narcissistic mothers is a special breed. Each narcissistic mother is unique as an individual but their characterlogical traits are commonly identifiable. Outstanding traits include emotional coldness and distance, a complete lack of empathy, extreme sense of entitlement, faulty psychological boundaries which mean a disrespect for the individuality of their children, highly controlling and manipulative. Some narcissistic mothers remind me of military field commanders---shouting out orders, making constant demands, humiliating those who don't jump to the sound of their voice.

The infant and small child thrive in an environment of affection, warmth, tolerance and acceptance. Psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott coined the term "maternal preoccupation" to describe the necessary attention and ministration that a "good enough" mothers must pay to the infant in order for this person to thrive physically and psychologically. 

With a narcissistic mother there is neither maternal preoccupation nor an adequate holding environment. She goes through the motions but her attention is elsewhere, on herself. She is bored, restless, enraged, distracted, annoyed, emotionally distant, aggravated with a helpless creature that is constantly making demands on her attention. 

Children of narcissistic mothers grieve for the mother they never had. The mother wound cuts deep and painfully. 

Some adult children of narcissistic mother seek to now the truth of their pain and follow its source to recovery and healing. I give them so much credit for their perseverance and courage. 

Practice self care daily - get sleep and rest, eat nourishing food, hydrate, move and exercise for becoming calmer, for anxiety and depression, develop your own form of meditation and mindfulness, listen to beautiful music, follow your creative flow.