May 30, 2020
Married to a high level narcissist who demand that you re always perfect in your appearance, image, temperament, mood, selflessness, a willingness to overlook their multiple cruelties, suck up to their litanies of lies, forget and forgive their multiple betrayals.
The demands that the high level narcissist puts on you each day causes severe oxidative stress and extreme exhaustion.
Your plight is worse if you grew up in a narcissistic family with a narcissistic mother and/or father.
Throughout your childhood you were subjected to constant reigns of terror in the sympathetic fight or flight nervous system. Here there is constant hyper-vigilence, anxiety, worry, lack of sleep.
You have already been traumatized and now you are being re-traumatized each day that you stay married to your high level narcissist spouse.
There is a voice inside telling you that you must stand for yourself and leave the high level narcissistic spouse, that you are well worth it, that you must pay close attention to your exhaustion level and take it seriously.
Let yourself rest each day, several times if you can. You know deep inside that you can recover from this level of exhaustion, that you have made a decisions to separate and move along your own pathway of the original real self.