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The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Oct 15, 2022

A beast of burden is defined as an animal who carries heavy loads or must do very hard work. 

Narcississists often put their children, spouses, siblings and othes in these roles as human beasts of burden. Ineffect their children, spouses and siblings are their servants. 

The malevolent narcissist is imperious. He/she is the ruler in every "relationship." Children of narcissists lead their lives at the mercy, whim, impulse, psychopathology of their highly disturbed parents. The narcissisist gives orders---quite literally---and those close to him/her are expected to obey on the spot. Growing up, children depend on the parent for survival. They have no alternative. Being raised by a narcissistic parent, the child has no real support, validation, emotional closeness, feelings of security or protection or sense of entitlement. Children growing up with a narcissistic parent(s) describe that they felt like prisoners in their own homes. Often they hid from the narcissistic mother or father, fearing that they would have to tolerate one more screaming session, accusation, humiliation, volleys of criticisms and threats. These children live under emotional and psychological siege. They have trouble sleeping at night. They feel unsafe in their own homes. Some suffer from constant free floating anxiety. 

The narcissistic parent is highly demanding of what he or she wants and must have. Angry commands must be responded to. Chores must be done perfectly on the spot. Nothing is ever good enough for the narcissistic parent. He/she always finds flaws and the chilllllld is a fault. This is the narcissist's serious delusional state not the child's. 

The narcissistic spouse is impossible---making outrageos demands, throwing criticisms right and left, making the partner feel unworthy and defective. Many spouses of these narcissists stay married to them. They continue to take the psychological blows and to become human beasts of burden who will do the bidding of the narcissistic partner, regardless of how depleted, exhausted or frustrated they are. They are devoted to someone who is hurting them. They feel the stress and pain and the mental distress---yet they continue in these roles, often throughout the marriage. When the narcissist gets too bored with someone he/she can kick around too easiyl, this person will be discarded and replaced. 

Some narcissisic spouses keep their human beasts of burden indefinitely. They hae found someone who is loyal, will always fulfill their every need--regardless of its outrageousnes and continue to adore and provide the narcissist with cascades of narcissistic supplies.

There are others who come to an awakening and recognize that you will put yourself first. 

As a result of your research and clear intuitive sight you see through the false personas, the true nature of the malevolent narcissist. Now you have opened your pathways to rediscovering the gifts and boons of your original true self. 

Give yourself credit for your persevrance, courage, your strong belief in yourself, your mental and psychological stamina. Focus on yourself and movement into the restorative, calming pathways of the parasympathetic of self care and the full use of your unique creative gifts.

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