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The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Jul 4, 2022

High level narcissists create, build and maintain their Image, essential to their delusional reality. The narcissist's outer shell--the elaborate perfect facade is what he/she projects in the world. This image is priceless to him. From the time most narcissists were very  small they developed a false sense of self. This can encompass many atttributes: attractiveness, confidence, drive, no sense of limits, the abiity magnetize, manipulate and control others.

I am speaking about a personality that is based solely on the thin veneer of the Image. There is no room here for the inner self that introspects, is capable of lauthentic loving relationships, empathy--the capacity to understand and feel on a deep level what someone else is experiencing, the alleviation of the emotional pain of others through kindness, the ability to perceive oneself clearly--the positive and the negative and make changes that move toward inner personal growth. 

The high level nrcisist comes to us as a beautifully wrapped package. When you unwrap it, going through the layers, you find more image not substance. Narcissists convince most people that what they are seeing and experiencing in them is real. They believe and are taken in by the elaborate series of personas . In the beginning of a "relationship" with a high level narcissist most people are dazzled by this person's charm, their powerful personality vibration, the way they are fixated on you. They pay constant attention to you that is flattering and often spell binding. They have been studying youand know how you think and what you most desire. They know your weaknesses and impulsivities. They intend to becom unforgettable to you. High level narcissists are inclined to ossess those whom they choose to be part of their inner circle. We want to believe that we are the most important person in the world to this irresistible individual. We all want to be "the One." That is a deep desire within us as human beings. If we take this elaborate bait and are carried up and give ourelves to the narcissist we are becoming prt of his/her world. We feel giddy with this level of attention and the feeling that we can have anything we want. When we are finally seduced and joing the narcissit through marriage or partnership, we share his/her life on their terms. That's the agreeement. High level narcissists make deal not true relationships. 

After being married to or partnered with a high level narcisisist we notice significan cracks in the too good to be true image. There are bursts of rage that come from nowhere. We are criticized for something we didn't do; the narcissist verbally picks at us incessantly, putting us down with cruel comments and hateful glances. We try to please him. Nothing works. What you are experiencing is the dark core of the narcissist behind the mask--that prt of the self that is seething beneath the surface. Those who live with him when the doors and windos are shut are subjected to the Jekyll/Hyde treatment. It is an ugly and frightening experience. Mr. Hyde is out, glowering up close at your face; projecting his psychological sputum on to you. The screaming starts and never seems to end; accusations fly defamations spew; threats charge the air. How much more of this re you willing to take. Hopefull, you can say to yourself: "I will not put up with this raw abuse any longer. I have had more than enough." 

This is your moment of awakening, clarity, discernment--the truth!  Through this insightful opening you come forth again as a unique individual--independent, strong, grounded.  You are moving forward along your own pathways. The winds are at your back; the day is fair and clear.  

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