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The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Feb 20, 2023

If you have been married to or partnered with a high level narcissist for decades or a short time, remember that your "relationship" with this person is expendable. High level narcissists are ruthlessly wanton and careless about the feelings of others, even their own children. 

Children are often used as attractive props that enhance the narcissist's image and status. After all, if your child is very attractive and has a myriad of talents and capacities, the narcissistic mother or father will have endless bragging rights. 

This person is incapable of actually loving his/her child. Authentic feelings are not part of the narcissist's vocabulary. They tell great stories about their devotion to their spouses and children but this makes for great drama and image enhancement. 

Spouses who get out of line by psychologically working to become individuals and separate from the narcissist become the enemy. After all, they are no longer servile--the one who gives the king or queen his crown and scepter. 

Even before the divorce it is not unlikely that the narcissistic spouse has found your replacement. He or she has already drifted to new sources of psychological supply that will keep his ego fully inflated. 

There is no sadness or regret from the narcissist about all of those years together. You are shocked and distraught. The high level narcissist pivots quickly to his/her next exciting supply. One partner or spouse is interchangeable with the other. 

Protect yourself from the high level narcissist. Research this personality structure. Understand their strategies, the way they think--about themselves only--, their ruthlessness, horrendous lack of empathy, chronic lying, ducplicity, manipulations, empty promises. 

Pay attention to your psychological, emotional and creative needs and wishes. Don't blame yourself for becoming involved in a marriage with a narcissist. They fool most people all the time. 

Focus on your self, your talents, your well being and sense of inner peace. Now you will be lighter, simpler, more creative as you rediscover your authentic, grounded, original self. 

Click on the link below for my book on Amazon: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist

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