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The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Jul 24, 2019

Those who are married to a narcissist believe that they love this person they have chosen as a partner. These individuals are genuine, giving, warm and loyal.

Those who marry narcissists quite often grow up in homes where they experienced severe forms of psychological and emotional deprivation, lack of close attachment to a parent and patterns of chronic emotional abuse.  Growing up they were always in survival mode, the sympathetic fight or flight systems. They never felt safe and protected. 

It is not surprising that many adults who have been subjected to childhood trauma would choose narcissistic spouses. They have been deluded from the beginning into believing that this partner who is clever at presenting the most loving and charming persona truly love them The partner is demanding, criticizing you at every turn, insisting that you are always wrong and are deficient in a number of ways, mentally, emotionally, psychologically. 

At some point the souse on the receiving end of these ugly projections has gone beyond their limit. 

The wisdom of the body/mind and spirit comes and reveals to this individual that they will no longer tolerate these cruelties. 

The focus now and throughout your days is on healing self care practices that emphasize shifting into the restorative peace of the parasympathetic mode of inner peace, a sense of psychological security, a flowering of your gifts, learning how to self soothe and comfort yourself and choosing individuals who are worthy of your trust and respect. 

I honor your journey of courage, perseverance, fine character and creativity.