Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Jul 2, 2022

Divorcing A covert Narcissist is replete with many challenges: psychological, emotional, financial.

I have great respect for those who have been married to covert narcissits and are now facing the battles, the subterfuges, psychological ambushes, the deep cruelties that are involved in divorcing a narcissistic personality.  Particularly with the covert narcissist, this is a thorny set of issues. The overt grandiose narcissist, so obviously self absorbed, over the top, boorish, loud, in your face is obvious. We know who we are dealing with. 

Divorcing any narcissist is highly problematic. Divorcing a covert narcissist is complicated by the believeable phony personas that they use so skillfully to make most people think that they are individuals of fine character, deep caring, kind, fair, empathic.

Those who are divorcing a covert narcissist have had a tough time througout the marriage recognizing the true nature of their marital partner. So successful is the facade worn by the covert. This is one reason why partners hesitate to divorce these individuals since they spent years rationalizing that their spouse was a good preson and they were to blame for everything that went wrong with the marriage. It can take decades for a non narcissistic partner to recognize that he or she has been psychologically and emotionally abused by these highly psychopathological individuals.

It is important to understand the covert narcissist's cold, aggressive thinking. They do everything possible to wear you down, to break you emotionally, psychologically and financially.

They are determined to make you the villain, the uncooperative one, the person who is psychologicallyimpaired and uncooperative. 

The covert narcissist is determined to rattle your nerves at all times by calling or texting you, even late at night. 

The covert applies constant stress and pessure by refusing to negotiate or settle the divorce. They are known to drag out the process. This allows them to make you weaker and therefore to manipulate and control your feelings of fear and desperation. This is done to get you to capitulate to their will of getting everything that they want.

Getting through the divorce process---Winning the marathon.

Choose an attorney who is your true advocate: knowledgeable, fine character, easily available. The attorney must have an understand of highly manipulative, lying deceitful individuals. 

Keep detailed records of all assets including, properties, trusts, bank accounts, cash, investments, expenses. 

Know that you are going to get through this long race and that you will be victorious. 

Practice consistent self care: good sleep, rest when you can, nourishing food, good hydration, exercise that works for you, expressive writing, time in Nature, creative activities that are rewarding. Spend time with friends you trust. 

Give yourself tremendous credit for running and winning the full divorce marathon from a covert narcissist spouse. 

Click below for my new print book of Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon

Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a high quality and comprehensive group of shows of podcasts on every facet of mental health. I am honored to have my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast on this magnificent network.