Jan 19, 2020
Narcissists at the top of the game are irresistible--dazzling. It is almost impossible to say "No" to them. They ooze charm and charismas out of their pores. They make you feel desirable, brilliant, talented, extraordinary. They are voracious in their need for adoring attention, seductive cues, promises of pleasure, fulfillment of unrequited dreams.
The high level narcissist presents a convincing pseudo sincerity that is believed by the object of their attention. This is the seduction phase. Every day is a dream come true, each wish is fulfilled---a kind of magic prevails.
The partner notices the incredible need that the narcissistic partner has to control his entire environment. You recognize that there is no room for your unique expression of thought, feelings, creative ideas. This delusional reality becomes very uncomfortable combined with the narcissist's ugly projections and lack of empathy.
High level narcissists thrive off of the sympathetic mode. This is the opposite of what you need: the parasympathetic - rest, relax, restore, inner calm. You become exhausted, anxious and depressed and worn down by the cruel criticisms, humiliations and river of lies and deceits.
You make the decision to put yourself first with daily self care: sleep, rest, restoration, movement/exercise, experience of beauty, quieting the mind and heart, embracing your solitude and the fulfillment of the promise of your unique creative gifts.