Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Jan 27, 2023

Growing up as the daughter of a narcissistic mother you didn't learn about self care or self love. It was not part of your emotional or psychological vocabulary from the beginning. You remember the constant anxiety and terror you felt with every step your narcissistic mother took toward you. You recall her terrifying eyes as she stared you down. Some of these mothers use physical abuse as a way of indocrinating their daughters; others use psychological verbal abuse, telling you from your first memories how ugly and stupid you were, that you would never amount to anything, that mother would always win. Narcissistic mothers control by way of constant intimidation, criticisms and outrageous demands that cannot be fulfilled. Often these mothers have their spouses under their control.

Daughters of narcissistic mothers have no respite. They are always in fight or flight mode---the sympathetic nervous system. They can never let down and relax because they don't know when the narcissistic mother will begin one of her cruel offensives. These non-mothers often pick a golden child and demand that the other children follow suit. They can never measure up because the system is rigged in favor of the narcissistic mother and the golden child. 

After the battles of growing up the daughter of the narcissistic mother has difficulty with her sense of a solid identity. She feels guilty because she didn't meet her narcissistic mother's expectations (which were imossible). There will come a time when you become aware that your mother had a serious psychological  problem.

Daughters of narcissistic mothers deserve to learn and practice Self Care and Self Love. This is part of our true natures. You are entitled to experience a sense of deep inner peace, to use your imagination spontaneously, to appreciate the magic of music, to be able to sleep with peace and a sense of security, to have full use of your unlimited creativity, to express your affection and love for others.

Self care begins with thinking about what is essential for you each day. It is learning how to quiet your mind, to get exercise that keeps you physically and psychologically strong, to find friends that are truthseekers like you who support your new life, to seek knowledge that fascinates you, to write spontaneously what is in your inner life and comes through naturally, to seek knowledge that fasinates you, to spend time outdoors and listen to the birds, watch the movement of the winds and the playing of the skies around you.

As you make the practice of self care an integral part of your days, you will begin to appreciate yourself more and finally you will know self love. 

You think of the little child that survived the narcissistic mother, of her bravery borne of great durress, of how often she cried, of the incredible way that she saved her precious self. I am deeply moved by and love these special daughters.

Click the link below for my book on amazon:

Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a global network of Shows by Podcasters on every facet of Mental Health.