Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Jul 4, 2019

The covert narcissist cannot express genuine emotions; he/she is putting on a brilliant show, a master class in method acting. He learned very early that being authentic was not approved of; it was frowned upon, shameful.  

Showing emotion is perceived by the covert narcissist as a weakness, a vulnerability, a defect of character. The covert narcissist is convinced that he is in complete command of himself. This is part of the covert's delusional belief that he is invincible. He has free reign to project his cruelest unconscious feelings on to his victims, especially spouses, ex-spouses, other family members.

The small child learns to impose an iron will on his feelings and this becomes an integral part of the growing child's sense of self. As this pattern of warding off true feelings deepens these children learn at the same time how to always win by cunning, secret manipulation of the feelings of others. For the covert narcissist, controlling one's emotions completely is one of the highest goals in life. In effect, this capacity represents an emotional shallowness, an incapacity for psychological intimacy and a coldness that runs through the covert narcissist's core personality. 

Ultimately, being married to or partnered with a covert narcissist does not resonate with you. You are authentic, express your feelings, have compassion and empathy. Move forward along your unique pathway of transformation and evolution.