Nov 7, 2019
Count the ways that your marriage to your narcissistic spouses keeps you in a state of psychological siege: the fight or flight survival mode. You can never let down, relax or feel at ease.
The narcissistic spouse propagates a series of living hells for you:
1. You are constantly criticized and humiliated despite your efforts to create a peaceful and empathic atmosphere. Primitive vomits of projection are foisted upon you uninterrupted without mercy or pause. You are the object of these nauseating onslaughts of psychological venom. This wreaks havoc on your nervous system and spikes up your sympathetic nervous system survival response, producing greater oxidative stress that compromises your physical and psychological health defenses.
2. Narcissistic spouse lives in a delusional world where you are pressured to believe manufactured truths that burnish the narcissist's image. If you contradict his version of reality you become the bad guy, the villain, even psychologically unbalanced.
3. The narcissist continuously lies to you by commission and omission.
4. The narcissist uses the defense mechanism of splitting, meaning that he/she perceives everything as good or bad, thumbs up or thumbs down without any nuancing of reality, no modulation and as a result, no deep understanding of himself or others. It is difficult if not impossible to separate in your own mind what is true or not when you are so rattled by the narcissistic spouse.
5. Narcissistic spouse creates his own sense of delusional reality. Up is down and down is up in this Alice in Wonderland world. You have fallen into the rabbit hole fantasy world of the Mad Hatter, Cheshire Cat and the malevolent Red Queen.
Marriage to the narcissist puts you in a continual state of fight or flight, the sympathetic nervous system. This means survival chemical re moving through your body chemistry including cortisol, epinephrine and adrenaline. Over a long period of time this sympathetic state takes hold and causes negative effects on your health.
Lowers your immune system; increases digestive distress, lowers gut health. causes chronic insomnia, no good sleep, cannot rest - always on guard, interferes with your mood increasing anxiety and depression.
This is a time of awakening for you, the decision to divorce your narcissistic spouse.
You deserve the full development of your authentic self, your creative gifts, inner peace. Ability to move into the parasympathetic, healing, recovery, restorative mode.
Practice healing habits: meditation, movement/exercise, sleep rest
Creativity, music, writing
Simple yoga, breathing exercises, diaphragmatic breathing reduces cortisol, a stress hormone.
Meditation your way for reducing chronic stress, anxiety and depression.
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