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The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.

Sep 17, 2019

Shame is an intolerable feeling of being exposed, wanting to disappear, emotional vulnerability, feeling inferior and worthless. Each person feels shame in his or her own way.

Unlike these individuals, narcissists are shameless. They have no sense of limits, rules or consideration of others. Pathological narcissism is a defense against shame.

Not having a conscience facilitates narcissists in their outrageous and hurtful behaviors. 

At the core in his damaged real self, the narcissist is psychologically empty, shallow, cold, bored, restless. 

Narcissists are offended by and bored with the truth. Rules, laws, morals and decency do not apply to the narcissist. 

Don't think you can change their rock embedded, highly flawed character structure. It is formed of psychic titanium defenses that remain intact despite any external circumstances. Key among these is Denial, the king of defense mechanisms. 

Narcissists are particularly shameless with their incessant lying. Narcissists love to lie; it's their milk and honey, their sustenance, the smoothest way to get and keep what they want, an way to steely control over their human domains.

It is difficult for most of us to imagine how anyone could continually lie by omission and commission and have no consequences as a result. Even when the narcissist commits horrible acts of cruelty, there is no just resolution. Victims are left re-traumatized and exhausted They have no one to turn to who can offer them support, respite, reparations or the smallest kindness.

This is the case in a current narcissistic society that worships worldly achievements and external perfection over qualities of the authentic self: empathy, insight, integrity, kindness, loyalty, compassion, the capacity to listen and resonate with another human being. 

You are that authentic individual and I honor you. Remember to spend as much time as possible in the parasympathetic body/mind systems.  Sleep well, rest, be creative, go to Nature, enjoy the beauty of music. Here's to your transformation moving along the pathways of your true authentic self.